The dos and don’ts of working in a restaurant. Please New York waiters, busers, chefs – read this

Bruce Buschel posted in the NY Times the top 100 things staffers working in restuarants should not do. I hope every waiter in NY reads this as there is much to be learned, speaking from a frequent restaurant diner.

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.

2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.

3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.

4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.

5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.

6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.

7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.

9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.

10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.

11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.

12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.

13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.

14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.

15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”

16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.

17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.

18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”

19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.

20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.

21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.

22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.

23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.

24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.

25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.

26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.

28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.

29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.

30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.

31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.

32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.

33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.

34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.

35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.

36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.

37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.

38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”

39. Do not call a woman “lady.”

40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.

41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.

42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.

43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.

44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.

45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.

46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.

47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.

48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.

49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.

50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.51. If there is a service charge, alert your guests when you present the bill. It’s not a secret or a trick.

52. Know your menu inside and out. If you serve Balsam Farm candy-striped beets, know something about Balsam Farm and candy-striped beets.

53. Do not let guests double-order unintentionally; remind the guest who orders ratatouille that zucchini comes with the entree.

54. If there is a prix fixe, let guests know about it. Do not force anyone to ask for the “special” menu.

55. Do not serve an amuse-bouche without detailing the ingredients. Allergies are a serious matter; peanut oil can kill. (This would also be a good time to ask if anyone has any allergies.)

56. Do not ignore a table because it is not your table. Stop, look, listen, lend a hand. (Whether tips are pooled or not.)

57. Bring the pepper mill with the appetizer. Do not make people wait or beg for a condiment.

58. Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.

59. Do not leave place settings that are not being used.

60. Bring all the appetizers at the same time, or do not bring the appetizers. Same with entrees and desserts.

61. Do not stand behind someone who is ordering. Make eye contact. Thank him or her.

62. Do not fill the water glass every two minutes, or after each sip. You’ll make people nervous.

62(a). Do not let a glass sit empty for too long.

63. Never blame the chef or the busboy or the hostess or the weather for anything that goes wrong. Just make it right.

64. Specials, spoken and printed, should always have prices.

65. Always remove used silverware and replace it with new.

66. Do not return to the guest anything that falls on the floor — be it napkin, spoon, menu or soy sauce.

67. Never stack the plates on the table. They make a racket. Shhhhhh.

68. Do not reach across one guest to serve another.

69. If a guest is having trouble making a decision, help out. If someone wants to know your life story, keep it short. If someone wants to meet the chef, make an effort.

70. Never deliver a hot plate without warning the guest. And never ask a guest to pass along that hot plate.

71. Do not race around the dining room as if there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency. (Unless there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency.)

72. Do not serve salad on a freezing cold plate; it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared.

73. Do not bring soup without a spoon. Few things are more frustrating than a bowl of hot soup with no spoon.

74. Let the guests know the restaurant is out of something before the guests read the menu and order the missing dish.

75. Do not ask if someone is finished when others are still eating that course.

76. Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect.

77. Do not disappear.

78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.

79. When someone orders a drink “straight up,” determine if he wants it “neat” — right out of the bottle — or chilled. Up is up, but “straight up” is debatable.

80. Never insist that a guest settle up at the bar before sitting down; transfer the tab.

81. Know what the bar has in stock before each meal.

82. If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damage you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spots on the guest.

83. Ask if your guest wants his coffee with dessert or after. Same with an after-dinner drink.

84. Do not refill a coffee cup compulsively. Ask if the guest desires a refill.

84(a). Do not let an empty coffee cup sit too long before asking if a refill is desired.

85. Never bring a check until someone asks for it. Then give it to the person who asked for it.

86. If a few people signal for the check, find a neutral place on the table to leave it.

87. Do not stop your excellent service after the check is presented or paid.

88. Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.

89. Never patronize a guest who has a complaint or suggestion; listen, take it seriously, address it.

90. If someone is getting agitated or effusive on a cellphone, politely suggest he keep it down or move away from other guests.

91. If someone complains about the music, do something about it, without upsetting the ambiance. (The music is not for the staff — it’s for the customers.)

92. Never play a radio station with commercials or news or talking of any kind.

93. Do not play brass — no brassy Broadway songs, brass bands, marching bands, or big bands that feature brass, except a muted flugelhorn.

94. Do not play an entire CD of any artist. If someone doesn’t like Frightened Rabbit or Michael Bublé, you have just ruined a meal.

95. Never hover long enough to make people feel they are being watched or hurried, especially when they are figuring out the tip or signing for the check.

96. Do not say anything after a tip — be it good, bad, indifferent — except, “Thank you very much.”

97. If a guest goes gaga over a particular dish, get the recipe for him or her.

98. Do not wear too much makeup or jewelry. You know you have too much jewelry when it jingles and/or draws comments.

99. Do not show frustration. Your only mission is to serve. Be patient. It is not easy.

100. Guests, like servers, come in all packages. Show a “good table” your appreciation with a free glass of port, a plate of biscotti or something else management approves.

Snacks and Glints

Forging a Hot Link to the Farmer Who Grows the Food – cool article in the Times

Raj Patel wants you to Buy Japanese or at least, live in Japan

Teenagers near fast food = obesity. And Marion Nestle has some ideas on it. And she was in the NY times last week. Go Marion.

The new Food Inc movie. Can’t see it here in Nairobi but see it if it comes to a theater near you…

And another film called “Food Fight”. It is hard to keep up these days…

Best Trattoria in Rome? Let the Debate Begin. God, how I would die to be eating this food every night. Taking slow food to the profound letter. But hell, this the origin of slowness in all its beauty.

11 hard to get in nairobi foods you should be eating

NY Times posted the “11 best foods you aren’t eating” back in the summer and it was actually one of the most viewed stories of 2008. Wow. I am impressed that people take such an interest in food. Here are the foods of which most are not so easy to find here in nairobi…

1. Beets: Think of beets as red spinach, Dr. Bowden said, because they are a rich source of folate as well as natural red pigments that may be cancer fighters.
   How to eat: Fresh, raw and grated to make a salad. Heating decreases the antioxidant power.
2. Cabbage: Loaded with nutrients like sulforaphane, a chemical said to boost cancer-fighting enzymes.
   How to eat: Asian-style slaw or as a crunchy topping on burgers and sandwiches.
3. Swiss chard: A leafy green vegetable packed with carotenoids that protect aging eyes.
   How to eat it: Chop and saute in olive oil.
4. Cinnamon: May help control blood sugar and cholesterol.
   How to eat it: Sprinkle on coffee or oatmeal.
5. Pomegranate juice: Appears to lower blood pressure and loaded with antioxidants.
   How to eat: Just drink it.
6. Dried plums: Okay, so they are really prunes, but they are packed with antioxidants.
   How to eat: Wrapped in prosciutto and baked.
7. Pumpkin seeds: The most nutritious part of the pumpkin and packed with magnesium; high levels of the mineral are associated with lower risk for early death.
   How to eat: Roasted as a snack, or sprinkled on salad.
8. Sardines: Dr. Bowden calls them “health food in a can.” They are high in omega-3’s, contain virtually no mercury and are loaded with calcium. They also contain iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, copper and manganese as well as a full complement of B vitamins.
   How to eat: Choose sardines packed in olive or sardine oil. Eat plain, mixed with salad, on toast, or mashed with dijon mustard and onions as a spread.
9. Turmeric: The “superstar of spices,” it may have anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties.
   How to eat: Mix with scrambled eggs or in any vegetable dish.
10. Frozen blueberries: Even though freezing can degrade some of the nutrients in fruits and vegetables, frozen blueberries are available year-round and don’t spoil; associated with better memory in animal studies.
    How to eat: Blended with yogurt or chocolate soy milk and sprinkled with crushed almonds.
11. Canned pumpkin: A low-calorie vegetable that is high in fiber and immune-stimulating vitamin A; fills you up on very few calories.
    How to eat: Mix with a little butter, cinnamon and nutmeg.

Snacks and glints

Two interesting NYT articles about the basics of scientific cooking and what to keep or throw out in kitchen by Bittman. I love the dash of science article – because cooking is all one big experiment. The bittman piece is great because it simply says, use fresh ingredients.

At the Stove, a Dash of Science, a Pinch of Folklore

Fresh Start for a New Year? Let’s Begin in the Kitchen

“we shouldn’t have gone to italy”

Derek and I just ended a two-week gastronomic affair with Italy. We were first in Torino for the Slow Food/Salone del Gusto food conference. Then a stop off to Cinque Terre and onto Roma for six days of melt in your mouth cuisine.

Our first day back in Nairobi involved grocery shopping. Unfortunately the choices are limited. There is one very small organic market that has totally inconvenient hours unless you are unemployed, but in that case, you wouldn’t be able to afford the food there. The store is limited – some local vegetables, butter, eggs and some meats like chicken and rabbit. But better than nothing right? We always seem to get there around 5:30 when the store is “closing” (which is at 5:45). Hmmm….is this an anti-localvore conspiracy?

The other choices around Nairobi are the big walmart like Nakumatt or the Muthiaga market that has a separate fruit/vegetable store with the saddest looking selection of lifeless plant life I have ever seen. The market also has a meat market that smells like rotting flesh, which is not all that ironic, and the meat looks like well, rotting flesh. Flies in meat shops = not good.

ecogastronomy at nakumatt

To compare those options to the plethora of open air markets of Italy, like Campo de Fiore with colorful fresh fruits and vegetables of all kinds, usually seasonal and local, or the ecogastronomica pleasures of the cheese shops, the salumerias, the macellerias, or the pasticcerias. Mamma mia. Ah, my appetite just came back!

campo de fiore

But alas, Kenya is where we live, and we have to find a way to survive as foodies living without a lot of variety and choice. We are back less than 12 hours, and it is not looking good. We bought a very small amount of pecorino cheese from the market here (which cost $10 bucks…) and when derek tasted it, the only thing he said was “we shouldn’t have gone to italy.”

Ecogastronomy pleasure and GMOs

For the past few days, I attended Terra Madre, the very large (7000 people, 153 countries represented) Slow Food meeting in Torino Italy as a U.S. delegate but had the added benefit of also attending Salone del Gusto, a gourmet/artisan food festival held simultaneously and in the same venue. The opening ceremony for Terra Madre was quite grand and held at the Olympic stadium for the Winter Olympics in 2006. Carlo Petrini, godfather of slow food, and Vandana Shiva, anti-technology and GMO (genetically modified organism) hero, both spoke to the crowd, but the most amazing part was the music played from around the world and the flag procession, in which a native of the country carried their flag wearing traditional clothing. It was quite incredible to have 153 countries represented and says a lot about how the world is feeling about the global food system.

terra madre

The opening ceremony set the tone for the rest of the meeting – no GMOs, no chemicals, no pesticides. No ifs ands or buts about it. There was not too much scientific evidence presented, just passion in all its grassroots glory. I dont think scientific data is really the point of Terra Madre anyhow. Vindana said that GMOs did not promote more food production and that it was “a fact.” In her manifesto, she does not just count absolute tons of maize produced but the cultural and social fabrics that have been lost. Perhaps she is right, but to say that it is a fact may be a bit overstated. She was also quite negative about the African Green Revolution, which was disappointing. The Asian Green Revolution was not a perfect model by any means – so can’t we take the mistakes from the last revolution and at least try to make it better for Africa’s sake? Small holder farmers in much of Africa are struggling. I am a HUGE advocate of biodiversity and its subsequent diet diversity, but reason, evidence and rationale are needed to feed 6 billion souls high quality foods right now. I am not sure if bashing on companies who use technology without much care for diversity, is the most productive approach. Manifestos were passed out, with lead writer Vandana, on topics of climate change and the future of food, and the future of seed. You can find the manifestos here.

I also attended the US delegate meeting. Alice Waters opened and I always find her thoughtful and engaging. She signifies what slow food is all about. Josh Viertel, the new president of Slow Food, is a great story teller but has a lot of work ahead of him to really make an impact in the United States this coming year. In a world of fast food and fast eaters, and fat people, the slow food approach has not sunken in. Josh – i wish you luck.

US Delegate Meeting

I attended earth workshops of bee keeping, food security, climate change, Africa foods and others. Many had the same tone that GMOs were very bad and that farmers need to take back their communities and promote biodiversity. Biodiversity is key and is being lost by the day. But about GMOs and their reputation. GMOs could very well be “bad” but again, the science should be presented at these meetings, particularly to the youth who attend the meeting. Do it for the kids! I am not against what they are saying. I want to eat wholesome, unmanipulated, chemical and pesticide free food too. But when presenting anything as complex as our food system, it is always more productive to get many players to the table. The big companies and multinational agencies are here to stay. We need to learn to work with them and find a way forward together. Projecting a photo of two random wall street guys looking at numbers on the stock exchange and saying they are evil and have a plan to destroy bees, is not exactly productive or true (which is what they did at the bee seminar…).

pulito

One of the coolest aspects of the fair was the Slow Food Presidia that are funded and promoted by the Slow Food Foundation for Biodiversity. The program focuses on biodiverse projects of small scale producers from around the world demonstrating all aspects of Slow Food – good, clean and fair. There were very unique, rare products being promoted by local farmers such as lost cereals, diverse potatoes from peru, poultry and goat breeds, cheeses, honey in ethiopia etc etc. Textiles were also being promoted as part of this year’s Terra Madre.

slow food presidia projects map

Salone del Gusto hosts “neogastronomes” and it was so crowded I could barely stand it, being a slight clostraphobe. I always find conferences funny. When there is something free on a table, people are like ravenous wolves and will claw their way to get at whatever it is just because it is there and free. Salone, with all its high class ecogastrons was NO exception. People were like hungry beasts. So much for slow food. There was pushing, there was shoving, there was knocking people over, just to get a little 1 inch by 1 inch piece of bread with some olive oil drizzled on it. Isn’t this standard fare for Italians? If there was a piece of cured meat sitting out on a plate, forgeddaboudit.

Derek posted a great blog on the event here. and some more photos are here.

All about Food for a Foodie

I woke up today, on my 37th birthday, to the New York Times Magazine’s Sunday issue – and its all about food! How apropos. The Pollan and Bittman articles are good, the Locavorism article is timely, and the tipping article is an interesting read, particularly when you live in a country where tipping is not the norm (kenya).

Indian Food Rocks, in Nairobi that is…

Derek and I have been living in Nairobi for a week and a half and I have probably consumed more Indian food in that time, then my entire life. Samosas for breakfast, dahl and dosa for lunch and rich curries for dinner. YUM. The food rocks and it is caliente. We have eaten in fine eating establishments such as Haandi and even food courts in malls, yes malls, which seem to be a big thing here. Never thought I would be eating in one, but the food won me over. Check out these morsels.